Because I’m still a little afraid my resolve will crumble in between now and “later,” but since I have found a mobile vet service who will work with me, I am thinking of letting Tasha go next month. At home, under peaceful terms, before she gets worse. Before the winter cold makes her arthritis worse, before she suffers a debilitating or painful stroke, before she sustains an injury from another accident. Her bad days are getting too numerous.
I can’t describe how shitty this feels. I feel horrible. I need to do what’s best for her.